Five months. One hundred fifty-three days. There are times that I still feel like I've been punched in the stomach, that I almost can't catch my breath. BUT those times are fewer and further between than they used to be. Healing is not complete, but it has begun, and progress, however slow, is being made.
I have learned a lot these past 5 months. I have learned some about who I am in Christ. I have learned some about who He is to me. Both parts have helped tremendously. I have a hunger and thirst for Him that I didn't have before, and I thank God for that!
Today I am focusing on His will, His way and His timing... because that is the only way any of this ... any of anything... is ever going to work out!
I attend The Anchor Church in Tupelo, MS. David Ball, former basketball coach, is our pastor... and, man, is that guy ever anointed! He delivers a message every service that might just as well have my name on it! (One of the things I really love about Pastor David is that he is just SO real! He has a "past"... a "former self" from before he became a Christian. He isn't a suit and tie preacher; he's a real "where the rubber meets the road" kind of guy. Another of the things I really love about him is his god-given gift of being able to love people right where they are... right through their sin. That is where I was when I first met Pastor David.)
Anyway, Pastor David has encouraged us to read 5 psalms daily, among other readings... like 1 proverb, a prophet, a judge and a gospel. (Yeah, it's a lot, but I kind of cheat. I got to biblegateway.com and pull it up on audio, then I listen as I read along. It sets a better pace than I would do myself.)
I have also become a huge fan of Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. He is young and "edgy"... and also very anointed. You can find his whole sermon archive at elevationchruch.org. Check him out; he's awesome!
I may finally be getting to the beginning, now. I stumbled across a sermon series at the Elevation Church site. It's the "Storytellers" series, Part 4 "He Performeth All Things". It's based on the Psalm 57:1-5.
The history behind this psalm is really neat, but it takes more digging than I am currently capable of doing on my own. (But I am learning how, so don't give up hope quite yet!) Anyway, David wrote this psalm when he was running from King Saul, who wanted to kill him. At one point David and his men are hiding in a cave, and where else would King Saul decide to go "attend to his needs" than in that same cave?!? (That's scripture-speak for "poop!" Seriously... Check out I Samuel 24:3! Who'd have thought stuff like that would be in the Bible?!?) David's men were all like, "Go ahead and catch him with his britches down around his knees and whack him!" David did cut off the corner of Saul's robe just to show Saul that he could have killed him if he had wanted to. (Saul didn't have the robe on at the time. I guess it was hanging on the hook outside the cave door, or something) Then David repented for that. Not so much for the damage inflicted on his majesty's royal wardrobe, but because although he had already been anointed as next in line for king, it wasn't up to him. It had to be God's will, God's way and in God's time. David, unlike myself, had the wisdom to realize that on the front end!
Doesn't knowing this make reading Psalm 57 much more exciting?
This is really cool, but I've got to know how this pertains to ME. If you know me or have read my profile, you pretty much know my situation. I'm looking for some healing for ME! Between (among?) Pastor David, Pastor Steven and the Holy Spirit, I can't go wrong. I've taken some of this from each of the pastors, and some from how the Holy Spirit is using this in my own life.
Pastor Steven made 4 points in his sermon. They are so great that I have summarize them below!
1. God's presence is the place of my protection!
- Verse 1: "Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings, I will make my refuge until these calamities have passed by."
- When I find disaster happening, I just need to hide in His presence! In God's presence, nobody can touch me without His permission!
2. God's purpose is the promise of my deliverance.
- Verse 2: "I will cry out to God Most High, To God who performs all things for me."
- There are times that it may seem that God has lost my location or that I have exhausted His willingness to protect me, but that is just another lie from the enemy!
- The New Living Translation says, "I will cry out to God Most High, God who will fulfill His purpose for me." (He says the same thing in Ps 138:8) Wow! God is going to fulfill HIS purpose even for ME! The trouble here could be discerning what is HIS purpose, and what is MY purpose. I know what He has written on my heart; I know what desires I have that He has put in me. Where I've gotten into trouble is that I didn't stop with cutting off the corner of Saul's robe! I have tried time & time again to fulfill God's purpose MY own way and in MY own time! His purpose is the promise of my deliverance!
- If I want God's will, I will have to do it God's way! If I want God's best (and I DO!), I will have to trust God's timing! If I will do things God's way, HE WILL ALWAYS FULFILL HIS PURPOSE!
- When I cut off the corner of Saul's robe, I remove myself from God's protection. God knows not only what I need, but when I need it! (Wow! Have I ever messed up on this lesson time & time again!)
- A desire to advance, to do things with excellence, to be in a loving & committed relationship... all those are God-given desires. Trying to accomplish those desires MY OWN WAY or in my own time... God will not bless that!
- If I really want to see the deliverance of God, I have to submit myself to His purpose. I've got to trust God's timing, and honor God's principles if I want to expect God's protection and blessing in my life. Where I have messed up is that I have done things my own way, and then run crying to God for His deliverance. I've asked Him to cover MY mistakes. In His grace, He will forgive me, and He will bless me, although I may have to suffer the consequences of what I've done. BUT... IF I want God's continued protection over my life, I've got to live my life according to HIS purpose.
- God fulfills His promises, God fulfills His purpose, but He does it according to His principles and His perfect precepts.
- GOD DIDN'T BRING ME THIS FAR TO LEAVE ME!
- Verse 3. "He shall send from heaven and save me; He reproaches the one who would swallow me up. God shall send forth His mercy and His truth."
- There is nothing I can do on my own! Through God, I have an advocate, a hope, a higher power and a righteousness that is not my own!
- Verses 4-5. "My soul is among lions; I lie among the sons of men Who are set on fire; , Whose teeth are spears and arrows, And their tongue a sharp sword. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; Let Your glory be above all the earth."
- David's perspective changed! He went from looking around at his circumstances... a very uncertain future and fierce opposition... to looking up! He looks up and his God is GREAT!
- What a twisted and convoluted path for a future king! But then look at the convoluted path that God sent His own Son on towards the cross! God can see things ahead of me that I can't see. He never takes the way that looks the easiest from MY perspective.
Right this minute, even before I hit the "publish" button, I am going to delete my profiles from the internet dating scene. (Done. Good bye "Plenty of Fish", "OKCupid" and "Singlesnet"!) As much as I would like to be in that special relationship, it is going to have to be of His doing. His will, His way, His timing!
Now, I challenge you to step up and step out. What areas in your life are the corners of Saul's robe? How can you get those in line with what God has for you?
Makes you think, doesn't it?
In Him,
Cathi
